


Let me help you

by Kasp_Gingersnap



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Confidence, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Pain, Reddie, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Therapy, boys, edchie, numb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasp_Gingersnap/pseuds/Kasp_Gingersnap
Summary: Richie has always been the teen who makes jokes but never really expresses his feelings.  What happen when he starts to feel nothing at all.  When he resorts to pain to make himself feel alive.  When he needs Eddie the most but shuts him out because he doesn’t annoy him.
Relationships: Edchie - Relationship, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Reddie - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	Let me help you

**Author's Note:**

> TW- Self harm  
> This spiraled out a lot. It was meant to be all cute and fluff but thanks to personal reasons it turned into what it is now. This story is to show everyone that just because you have a good family and amazing friends, you can still be hurting inside. And to show everyone that you shouldn’t be ashamed of your battle scars.

“Chee’” Eddie whined at the boy sitting on the windowsill with an open comic book in his hands. The late summer breeze was moving his curls over his eyes and he was struggling to see the print. Not to mention that Eddie only wanted to use a candle warmer for light and it was in the far corner sitting on the wooden desk. 

“What Eddie?” Richie was busy concentrating adjusting his eyes each time a new strand of hair blocked his vision. He didn’t mean to sound so annoyed but he was frustrated. The comic in his hands was a brand new edition that he had been waiting to come into stores in Derry. The fact that he couldn’t even read it was making him quite irritated. 

Eddie was sitting on the bed quietly, his legs crossed in front of him. He was staring at Richie with sad eyes and a deep frown, and it would be clear to anyone paying attention that he was disappointed his boyfriend wouldn’t pay attention to him. He took hold of the hint of annoyance in the other teen’s voice. He didn’t want to admit how upset he was. He had planned a whole night free of the other losers but Richie had yet to even say a full sentence to him. His home phone began to ring in the kitchen downstairs so he bounded down the steps and dashed to reach it on time. When he picked it up, Beverly’s soft voice filled his right ear.

“Hey hon’, I was just wondering if you were coming to the club house. Everyone else is staying the night except Richie, I can’t get a hold of him.” Eddie sighed at the last few words. He couldn’t seem to get a hold of Richie either even if he had been sitting five feet away for a half hour.

“He’s here. I wasn’t really planning on going out tonight but since my mom isn’t home for the weekend then I guess I can come.”

“Great! I’ll see you and Rich in an hour or so. Bye Eddie.”

“Bye Bev, see you then.” He put the phone back on the wall and leaned his head against it. He just needed a few moments to rest his eyes. He was overwhelmed with hurt. He knew Richie was always easily distracted but this was different. They both knew that Eddie’s mom would be out of town with the woman from church for three days, and they had planned a movie marathon with candy, kisses and cuddles. Eddie really really wanted cuddles. He walked solemnly up the narrow stairs to his bedroom. When he opened the door he saw Richie sitting at the desk. He wordlessly grabbed a red duffel bag from his closet and began packing his clothes before moving to the bathroom for toiletries. 

Richie listened to the shuffling around but figured Eddie was just getting ready for bed. He was hit with a sudden pang of realization when Eddie came back carrying his bag. “Where are you going?”

“Bev asked me if I wanted to go to the clubhouse to spend the night.”

“I thought that we were spending time together here?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” Eddie grabbed the last of his needed things and kissed a stunned Richie on the cheek. “Food is in the fridge. You can stay here if you want, just remember to turn off the lamp so you don’t start a fire in the middle of the night because I’ll never hear the end of it with my mom.”

“What?” Richie questioned in complete disbelief.

“You heard me Richie, Mi casa su casa. Help your damn self. Bye!” Eddie rambled passive aggressively. He stomped down the stairs and slammed the door behind him.  _ God that felt good. _

Richie was left in the room, jaw slacked open and eyes wide. I mean yeah, he knew he had been kind of off the past half an hour (or maybe two weeks but he’s been stressed and feeling weird) but hadn’t Eddie planned this whole night for them. What was with him just taking off. Richie grabbed his bag that he packed for the night and ran outside to his bike(he turned off the light before leaving of course). 

_ ~Meanwhile in the clubhouse~ _

“I just don’t understand what I did wrong,” Eddie was on the carpeted floor surrounded by the Losers, on the verge of tears. 

“Y-you didn’t do anything E-Eddie,” Bill placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Yeah he’s just been off,” Stan added. Richie heard this, he was climbing down the ladder. 

“Eddie…,” Everyone turned to look at Richie as he walked forward towards the huddle. “Can we please just talk.”

“Oh, we have had  **PLENTY** of time to talk,”

“Eddie, please! I was confused and I didn’t want to talk about it because I didn’t want to bother you but I know I can tell you now. Just let me explain to you please.” The losers knew that Eddie was too stubborn to comply so Beverly took the liberty of pushing the group out of the clubhouse. As soon as the hatch had closed, Richie was walking slowly towards Eddie, testing the waters between the two. Eddie stood up and walked towards him, eager for an explanation. 

“Well are you going to say something or just stand there.” Eddie asked as if he were on a time limit. 

Now Richie isn’t particularly blunt when it comes to his own feelings but if Eddie was going to act bored and uninterested then he was going to get this over with as fast as possible. He simply pulled off the leather bracelets he piles on his wrists and holds them out. Nail marks and cuts were stretched over his soft skin and Eddie gasped. He stared at them for a second before hesitantly reaching forward to touch the other teen. He looked into the others deep blue eyes, silently asking if he could continue his movements. The pale skin had been torn and strips of almond shaded cuts were laid out on display. Some scars were white and faded so it was clear that this was nothing new. Still, this hurt Eddie, how could he not have known? 

“For the past two weeks things got really bad. It was different than the last few years…”

“Few  _ years?” _ Eddie interrupted but Richie ignored it.

“When we got together last fall, things were really good. Things were so good in fact that I stopped hurting myself for months at a time...until two weeks ago. I-I don’t know why but I just felt myself...drifting I guess. I didn’t want to bother you with this. I have good parents and grades and I have you Ed’s. Everything in my life is ok so I don’t understand why I’m like this. I just stopped feeling anything and the pain helped. It makes me feel better.”

“Richie if you told me then I could have helped sooner.”

“I know that now but I was scared.”

“Of what, Richie? That I would just let you continue to feel this way? I love you and you’re my best friend. I don’t want you to feel like you are nothing. I want you to be happy and I can help, I know I can. Please let me help you Chee’.”

Richie pulled Eddie into a strong embrace and placed a kiss on his head. “I want you to help me but I don’t want this to be a burden on you.”

“I swear Richie that you and your feelings will never be a burden to me.” Richie had hot tears of relief streaming down his flushed cheeks. Eddie was crying with him as they sank to the floor just holding each other.

After that day, Eddie did everything in his power to help the one he loved. He convinced Richie to talk to his parents who understood everything. He went to therapy sessions with him because Richie always needed some encouragement to open up a bit. He made bracelets from bands so Richie could flick them or cut them when he needed to. But mainly he just gave him love and validated his feelings. He was there for him every step. 

_ ~Ten months later~ _

Richie was standing in front of the mirror with a short sleeve band shirt debating on whether or not he should wear the bracelets that hide his scars. His boyfriend was sitting on his bed looking at him through the reflection, smiling encouragingly. Eddie had made sure that Richie never felt ashamed of the marks on his arms and the few on his ankles. When the therapist suggested Richie draw on himself instead Eddie took the lines Richie made with pens and drew animals sitting on them. Even though they both knew that there was nothing funny about self-harm, the cute little creatures always made them both smile. 

Richie grabbed his Walkman before holding out his hand to the smaller boy. Eddie smiled and took hold of it as they left the house. Richie had some times where he hurt himself again over those ten months but he got the help he needed. He had support from his family and friends and he had never been so grateful for them. He loved them all, especially Eddie, who stuck by him through everything just like he would for years to come.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed. Even if it was short and kind of upsetting it has a happy ending!! :)


End file.
